A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

We found a cure for cancer. Death

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

pull my finger (farts)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops