Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

they told me not to write here but i did

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

69

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops