What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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