How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's funny about 9/11. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A. An horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops