Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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ewrg

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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