Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

Bill: Heydidyouknowlosersaywhat Donny: What? Bill: Loser

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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