What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

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Q: What's very loud, has 60 wheels, and is covered in snow? A: A massive car pile up in January that was caused by a women being distracted while Texting. 7 people were killed.

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

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What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops