What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats the difference between a European and a african an african has more pigment in his skin due to prolonged exposure to light

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walked into a bar. I shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops