"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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what is purple and fly? - a purple flying.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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what good about eatting every night knowing that a african want

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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