Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Womens rights.

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

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What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Finding a grammatical error on anti-joke.

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

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yeyeyeyeye live action

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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