What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Obama

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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Fox News

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Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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