A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

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What is funnier than 24? The fact that you think numbers are funny?

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True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your pornography to the public??? ture. pornography is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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