Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

69.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

What is more worse than death? Death

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

no really what are ur names?

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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