Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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a kid walks into a room and confesses to his mother he is gay the mother then repeatedly beats him until he is bleeding out of both ears then leaves him there to think about what he just said.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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