Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

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a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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What do u call a Mexican on the moon? An astronaut. What do u call all the Mexicans on the moon? Problem solved!!!

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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time to spruce up!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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knock knock go away!!!

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops