So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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