What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

Sex

what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

what did the black kid get for christmas? I dont know....whatever he wrote on his wishlist.

Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

You know whats funny? Women's rights

Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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