What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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Why did the man cross the street? He just wanted to .. i don't see why not, i mean he could have gotten ran over by a train on a road but who knows he could have been run over by a turtle!

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I gotta friend named Michael Nugyen and he dishonored his family. Did I mention he was asian ( he live in tampa fl )

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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What's brown, black, and red all over? The burning cross on the lawn of a respectable African-American family.

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Women's Rights.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops