what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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How can you tell if a joke is skept? Tell it to raysean and see if he laughs

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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