"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

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"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

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Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? the black man

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Why did the litle boy's hat come off? cause he got hit by a train!

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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a black man pays his child support

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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