How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

Wow! I've seen this joke before!

Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

how many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1 the wife to go buy the light bulb and the husbend to put it in.

What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

why did the chicken cross the street dude get your facts right it is the road ok well why did the chicken cross the street LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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