What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

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What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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CAS

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Q: How much dirt is in a hole 3 by 6 by 2 feet? A: There's no dirt, it's a hole.

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knock knock whos there ben ben who ben ages since i seen you !!! vote this up please or a unicorn will die , unicorns are not real , but a moth can ride bikes so please vote this down

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whoever just posted that stupid yo mama crap answer my comment

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69

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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