Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

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A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

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Know what's funnier than the holocaust? Almost everything i can possibly imagine. The holocaust was a terrible case of mass extermination due solely to naxis racist views

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

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Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

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What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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I wonder where the hell Hitler is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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