How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

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Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Vagina cream... end of story

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

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Kefka > Sephiroth

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Why did the road cross the chicken? The 2 nouns in the sentence has been switched.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops