Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock -Who's there? Orange -I don't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

No

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

jim is constantly asking bob the same questions, bob brings this to attention and suggests that jim might have amnesia. jim agrees and they move on iwth the conversation. minutes later jim asks a simaler question brought to attention earlier because he has amnesia

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

- Knock Knock - Who is it ? - I'm a Jehovah witness - Sorry, I don't know anyone by the name of "a Jehovah witness". Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops