What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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Faithful men.

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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it's funny because it's funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops