Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why do fat people eat so much? who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the easiest way to become filthy rich? There are many ways to earn money. Invest some time into researching the topic.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do black people eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you become a dragon ball super saiyan? You sit there and scream like you are giving birth for three minuets

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

joe diragi whacks off his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops