Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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Gordon Brown smiles.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Knock Knock Come in

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick !

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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