What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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do you currently smoke? i hope not.

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why did haris die...............................................his hair blond? .. u

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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thomas!!!!

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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fridge

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yo mama so stupid that when she stared at an orange jucie carton for 20 minutes cause it said consatrate

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So a seal walks into a club.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

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why does gamma not smile because he has strokes

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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