What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Three men went out for a night on the town, one had too much to drink and was forced to take a cab home.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Knock Knock .....................Oh it was just the TV

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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