-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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why did arno fly away? he was a bird

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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VAGINA.

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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