A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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Erectile Dysfunction.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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What did the black person say to the white person I'm black your white

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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