What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

kushagra tyagi

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was shot in the face

What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

Yo mama is so stuPid that she blew a man for bus money then walked home

Chuck norris

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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