Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

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What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

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Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops