- Anti Joke

Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

Nickelback.

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

I have an erection My mom!

WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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