What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +9

politically correct!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

guess what What? Apsolutly nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mamma's so fat, that she weighs alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

thumb_up thumb_down +9

this is not a drill.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Na na na na na Neo! Na na na na na na 'Sporin!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops