How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

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What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

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Knock knock Who's there? Not you

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why did joe drop his clock? billy ran into him, therfore making the clock wobble in his hand until it fell at 34 mph.

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

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Women don't need an education. The only book they need is a recipe book.

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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woman..parallel parking

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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