V I T A M I N C !

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

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Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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Fill in the _________ Ans: Cup Posted By: Lram

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

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What is a Mexican's favorite holiday? Christman

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a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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