That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? because he is dead -Eden Hogg

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Christians pornstars.

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what did the tree say to the other tree? Don't leaf me!

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

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how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

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Roses are RED , Violets are BLUE , once Valentines day is Over , All ya girls is gonna go back to LOVIN' THE CREW.

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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What should someone do if they are Le Zirk? Have a zirk. THEN FIRE THE ZIRKKK!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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