What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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Woman's Rights

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

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A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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why did the f a g perform fellatio? because he was a sick c unt

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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Miškinis gerai prikolina.

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Potato!

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Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

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what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ahmadinejad. Well then get the **** away from my door!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

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I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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