Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

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What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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1d

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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What's the best rabbit for a black person?

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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WHATS THE BEST AVENUE TIN SHACK AVENUE

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops