A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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what do u call a 7th grade ninga joe waldeaker the sarah freek

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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The WPGA tour

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why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

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a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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Happy Monday!

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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