Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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lewis ya baggy fuck

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

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Send "What Makes You Beautiful" Ringtone to your CellShowHideSong Notes - Go behind the words! You're insecure, don't know what for You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or Don't need make-up - to cover up Being the way that you are is eno-o-ough Everyone else in the room can see it Everyone else but you Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed the way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! If only you saw what I could see you'd understand why I want you so desperatley Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! Read more: ONE DIRECTION - WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/what-makes-you-beautiful-lyrics-one-direction.html#ixzz1sJdk3KHD Copied from MetroLyrics.com

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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Cameron is a r e t a r d

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

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roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops