Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. His face bumped into something that was soft, squishy, smooth, and round... It was a balloon. Someone was having a birthday party.

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What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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kaite is dumb that is true

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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what?

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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So you into art? You been to Louvre by the way?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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