A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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How much fun does a gay guy have? A butt load.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

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What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

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what do you get when you use heroin aids.

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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Why did the fat boy cry? His grandmother died

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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