roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

David Cameron

What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

What is greater than God, More evil than the Devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, If you eat it, you will die? Madelyns head

Oh my God! A talking dog!

The Moon Landing.

Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

What did the people say to each other when they ate the orange? Orange you glad I didn't eat you:) HAHAHAA orange you glad that I am good at telling jokes!

It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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