Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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69

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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800 people died last year. end of story

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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how many neggers does it take to screw in a light bul.... Nvm, Neggers be too busy screwing ur wife, plus they're lazy.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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Will there be love in your future? Click the hand with the love-line that is closest to yours

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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Sarah Palin

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You know what assuming leads to... .....Assumptions.

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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