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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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Homonyms should be band.

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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