Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Guns don't kill people; high speed bullets and sharp projectiles launched at high speeds usually inflict painful and possibly fatal wounds that may kill someone. That someone loves and is loved by others.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops