A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

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What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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What is worse than being unemployed? Terminal Cancer

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What did the mushroom say to the carrot? Is this even important given the current state of world affairs?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

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How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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Why has the suicide in dentists decreased? -Due to the fact that being a dentist makes suicide redundant!

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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a man walks into a bar with a monkey i forgot the rest of the joke your moms a whore

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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