Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

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Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

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Why did John stay home from school? He died.

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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more chocolate?

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Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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This is a joke only for males: Walk into any semi busy public restroom. Stand at the urinal for about 30 seconds to a minute acting as though you cannot find your penis. Make sure you have the attention of at least 2 other urinators and then exclaim quite loudly "I can't find it!" then walk out.

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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