Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

everybody loves raymond

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the white guy say to the black guy? What's up?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops